Patient Explanations #7

I admit I’m an addict 
My drug of habit
Is sadness

Melancholy outlook
Dark theme sketchbooks
Slow ballad hooks

Heavy blankets on thin sheets
Headphones and lo-fi beats
And cold feet

It’s all familiar to me
As brokenness fills the seams
I smile as the void greets me

“Have you relapsed? Are you ok?”
And I lie. What a rush to say
“I’m fine just a little tired”
All the whole knowing I’m a liar

It’s addicting and hard to give up
Because if I heal then I have to feel
And nothing burdens me more
Hope unfulfilled is worse than what the sad steals

And then I shower; brush my teeth
Take my meds and listen to a happy song
I’m honest with my therapist
I recover and life goes on

I admit I’m an addict
I had a habit
And I survived it

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