Patient Explanations #4

Trigger warning: This poem contains material related to auditory hallucinations and elements of schizophrenia. Reader discretion is advised.





My quiet moments are never silent
There is always a chorus in the background
Each voice whispering conspiracy
Turning my loved ones into tyranny

I hear them say “am I okay?”
But violence is what I hear them say
My love for them slowly slips away
And the voices’ cries are all I contemplate

Each one torments me with images
Of pain. Of betrayal. Of uncertainty.
Those I run to for comfort
The voices have turned into my enemies

I can’t focus and my face doesn’t express
Communication is a heavy burden
So I resort to silence and isolation
I hope I can avoid hospitalization

And

Some weeks and months I have my meds
I feel safe and communicate what’s in my head
My loved ones comfort me once again
I am me and I feel trusted then

I am productive and live completely
Engaging with friends and my family
Organized. My brain stops sabotaging me
I can have silence and finally breathe free

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