This is the first in a series of poems called “patient explanations.” In my professional career I work in psychiatric facilities caring for patients. This series contains the things I learned about life and mental health  from those I serve. Follow my blog so you don’t miss new poems every Tuesday. 


Trigger Warning: this poem contains material related to self-harm. Reader discretion is advised. 








Steel touches my skin
Sensation at last 
Echoing numb silenced 
Flesh parting fast

Pain’s sting is familiar 
But the warmth follows 
Like a spring morning sunrise 
As blood fills the hollows 

Warmth shuddering up my arm 
As I bandage it 
I long to go deep; cut longer 
But I fear it 

Death seduces me from a distance 
I enjoy flirting back 
But I never make it real 
While perseverant numb attacks 

And 

Some days the numb takes a backseat 
With the steel left unbloodied 
On days of blue sky and handholding 
Someone kind shows real love to me 

Their soul touches my skin 
Sensation at last 
The same warmth fills my hollowness 
No bandage applied fast