This is the first in a series of poems called “patient explanations.” In my professional career I work in psychiatric facilities caring for patients. This series contains the things I learned about life and mental health from those I serve. Follow my blog so you don’t miss new poems every Tuesday.
Trigger Warning: this poem contains material related to self-harm. Reader discretion is advised.
Steel touches my skin
Sensation at last
Echoing numb silenced
Flesh parting fast
Pain’s sting is familiar
But the warmth follows
Like a spring morning sunrise
As blood fills the hollows
Warmth shuddering up my arm
As I bandage it
I long to go deep; cut longer
But I fear it
Death seduces me from a distance
I enjoy flirting back
But I never make it real
While perseverant numb attacks
And
Some days the numb takes a backseat
With the steel left unbloodied
On days of blue sky and handholding
Someone kind shows real love to me
Their soul touches my skin
Sensation at last
The same warmth fills my hollowness
No bandage applied fast
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You captured self-harm perfectly, Hidden Bear.
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