As a child I checked out joke books from the library
I noticed the popular kids made other laugh
I thought I could learn to do the same
Eventually I did
Later someone gossiped about a person I admired
They said their opinions were too strong
Suddenly I was emptied of my opinions
As a teenager I learned it to laugh at jokes I didn't understand
Rather than ask for an explanation
Didn't want to "ruin the moment"
Then I went quiet
Because I feared that one day
Someone might hear what I said
As a young man I was ashamed of my looks
Working tirelessly to get and keep a girlfriend
Then the jokes wouldn't stick
I had evidence I could be loved
As an adult I get lost
It's not clear what to be
Everyone is so different
I've tried on personalities like hats
But that internal voice in the background
timid and fearful of rejection
trying my hardest to be well thought of
that I never thought well of myself
And now with time and age I can see
I need to work instead to just be
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I think we could all use a lesson in this
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